


Storytime!

by Christian_at_No



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist, Bleach, Free!
Genre: 50 Percent Off Verse, Alternate Universe - Office, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Random & Short, Why Did I Write This?, Wow, briefly, hah, multifandom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_at_No/pseuds/Christian_at_No
Summary: Don't take this seriously, I was so bored when I did this. Literally just a drabble involving nothing relevant to anything whatsoever. Enjoy and maybe get a laugh.





	Storytime!

**In Human Clothing:**

“Don’t even go there, Rin,” his brother screamed as a shoe went flying past his nose.

“Yuki and Shiemi sitting in a tree-,”Rin teased.

The second shoe came flying.

“You throw like a girl,” he taunted, thinking that his brother was out of projectiles; but, oh how wrong he was.

“At least I’m not a selfish, narcissistic, coward that hides behind his self-righteousness!” Yukio shrieked at the shorter young man, eyes darting toward the entertainment center.

Rin was too caught up in his laughter to notice the DVD cases being chucked at his face until it was too late to dodge.

“Sill find it funny, big brother?” the bespectacled young man hissed out when all of the cases had hit the other, a satisfied smile on his face as he inwardly applauded his marksmanship.

The elder of the two could only smile. “Yes, actually, I do; oh! And you  _ still _ hit like a girl.”

A growl crawled up the younger’s throat as his teeth ground together in his irritation. Throwing his hands up in surrender, he left the room with an angry huff, leaving his brother to laugh to his heart’s content over the younger’s emotional turmoil. Due to experience, the younger had resolved that this situation would only grow to worsen as time came to pass; despite this fact, he could not find the will within himself to resist punting a book across his bedroom, hearing the satisfying  _ ‘smack’ _ as it hit the lone window of the barren room.

He loved his brother to death, being as they only had each other for family, their other relatives were either oblivious to their existence or dead; more than likely the latter. However, the man was like a devil in human’s clothing, simply waiting for a moment to strike an unsuspecting victim – more often than not being his sorry self. In all honesty, he should’ve learned to expect it by now.

**By Reason of Temporary Insanity:**

Rain pelted the windows of the office building, echoing through the halls late at night, only heard by a lone figure of the fifteenth floor, stuck doing overtime that was so graciously shoved into his face via his supervisor; what a kind and giving man. In reality, he was suffering through his punishment for  _ inadvertently _ causing a power shortage. However, let the record show that it was not really his fault, as his coworker had been the one to plug in the cursed microwave – dubbed so because of its tendency to be the cause of shortages in the building – yet he still received punishment because he had failed to  _ warn _ the newcomer of the “curse” the appliance possessed.

So, there he sat, cold and alone on a Sunday evening.

_ At least, he thought he was alone… _

A soft  _ ‘buzz’ _ was heard, signifying the opening of a door down the hall and startling the young man in the process. He waited patiently for the sound of footfalls to reach his ears, but heard nothing of the sort.

A shiver was felt at the base of his neck; he knew he heard something and his ears were straining to hear what he knew to be there.

“… Not funny,” he sighed out, sucking in a tentative breath from his fear.

_I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy._ _I’m not crazy._ _I’m not crazy._

A deep roar was heard from behind him, invoking a yelp from him; laughter was heard in all of its boisterous glory, accompanied by a loud  _ ‘thud’  _ as the innocent man hit the floor.

“ _ Not. Funny! _ ” he hissed up at the newcomer, who was looking at him with a playful smirk; his only response being to scowl at the blue eyed man who towered over him from his position on the uncomfortable floor.

“Sorry, Berry Boy, I couldn’t resist,” the elder of the two supplied, reaching out a hand to help the other to his feet. “You scream like a girl.”

Ichigo growled and got to his feet,  _ without _ the help of his supervisor. Yes, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the man who had dumped the extra work on him in the first place. Grimmjow, with that dazzling smile and an ego that could make a woman cry, a body that would make other men commit suicide and a velvet voice that could be described as  _ sin incarnate _ to create the ultimate dream guy.

It all made Ichigo want to pound the elder’s face in!

“What do you want  _ Baka no Neko-sama _ ?” the ginger ground out. “Come to dump more work over my head?”

“ _ Mein Gott, _ Kurosaki, I came to help you out,” the blue haired man declared. “After all, I’m not all bad.”

A dramatic sigh reminiscent of a child’s was heard from the twenty two year old as he sat back in the chair he had been scared out of moments before followed by a mutter, “Fine.”

Grimmjow arched a finely trimmed brow in question. “Is something wrong?”

Ichigo grunted. “I seem to have come down with a case of temporary insanity.”

The elder laughed, his employee smiling at the sound in spite of himself.

**Such Horrible Things:**

“I refuse.”

“C’mon, man, don’t leave me hangin’ like this.”

“Nagisa, I will not help you break out of prison-”

“But, Rei!” the blond whined into the phone. “I only got one phone call, and I called you.”

“-for free,” the other continued. “Don’t interrupt me again.”

“Thank you. I’ll pay you back!”

“Don’t.”

A click was heard.

“Sir?” a guard asked. Upon seeing the young man’s nod, he continued, “Your time is up.”

“That’s fine.” A devilish smile crossed his face. “I’m done here.”

**I Hate the World:**

Everyone knows  _ that guy _ at their school.  _ That guy _ is most likely narcissistic, garish and abhorrent, domineering, and in utter repudiation of their behavior as they drag their cliques around campus; but on rare occasions, you meet  _ that guy _ only to find that they’re not really that way. In fact, they’re not that bad at all.

_ Psyche! _

They’re  _ worse _ . Who would’ve thought, right?

“Hey, Berry Boy!”

I ground my teeth, anger unlike anything else surging through me as the youth with crimson red hair approached me. I turned my back to him in an act of defiance.

_ I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my- _

A hand was rested on my shoulder and my eyes zeroed in on its owner. “Chill, Ichi,” Shuuhei said, his dark eyes brightened with his amusement. “I can hear your teeth grindin’ from over here.”

I bit into my thumb with a vengeance, my jaw locking as I let out a muffled groan of anguish.

“Hey, Shuu-chan,” a different voice interjected, spoiling my moment of inner turmoil. “Ichi-chan, hello!”

“Drop the ‘chan’ before I drop kick you into outer space,” I threatened.

A laugh was heard from the newcomer. “Bad day I suppose?” he asked, though not directed at me.

_ Thank Kami. _

I heard Shuu groan. “You could say that,” he supplied. “Hey, Gin, moron at twelve o’clock.”

My back was to my companions, but I immediately knew that the nuisance of which they spoke was none other than Renji Abarai – AKA,  _ that guy _ . I was friends with him at one point, but then he stabbed me in the back.

Literally.

Do you know how painful it is to take a steak knife out of your back? Spoiler alert: very! I haven’t been to any of that doofus’s house parties since then. My scar hurts just thinking about it.

I felt an apprehensive atmosphere arise as an abrupt silence fell.

_ I hate my life. I hate, hate,  _ hate  _ my life so, so much. Did I mention that I hate my life? _

“What do you want, Abarai?” I heard Shuuhei question in a flat tone.

“To talk to Ichigo,” Renji bit back.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Abarai-kun,” Gin muttered. “He’s had a bad day.”

So maybe sitting outside on a sunny afternoon under the tree in the courtyard of my high school after picking a fight with someone in Renji’s clique wasn’t my best idea, and maybe giving his girlfriend a hug in plain daylight while he was less than five meters away wasn’t very smart either, but I swear on my little sisters’ lives,  _ I did absolutely nothing wrong _ . It’s not my fault that this pigheaded snot rag of a rugby player overreacted to just about everything I did with no reasonable grounds to do so.

“Too bad for the fairy, huh?” Renji snorted and I could hear the sneer in his voice.

In that moment, we all stiffened, the atmosphere tense with anticipation and anxiety for what I might do.

I turned my gaze toward him in the form of a cold glare that would make a lesser man wet himself in fear before running off with their tail between their legs, a toothy grin marring my face, looking anything but pleasant to my current company, of which the wiser inched back. Ignoring Gin’s discomfort and the noise of Shuuhei scooting away through the grass, I used my glare to pin Abarai to the spot as he tried to look tough by puffing out his chest and letting out an almost growl. Looking him dead in the eye, I ascended from where I sat on the ground and made my way over to where he stood not three feet in front of me with a practiced calm that was contradicted by my facial features. My eyes screamed anger as I set a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I find the term ’fairy’ to be a bit offensive,” I whispered so only he could hear.

My hand dropped to his wrist as I turned him, bringing his arm up between his shoulder blades and twisting the extremity at a painful angle with the potential to break it.

“Call me that again and I’ll break it,” I growled into his ear, emphasizing my words by twisting his arm some more before letting go and giving him a shove, after which his face met the ground with an ungraceful sounding  _ ‘thud’ _ . Picking himself up off of the grass, he sent a halfhearted glare my way which I eagerly returned, and ran off to who-knows-where.

A familiar hand found my shoulder and I relaxed.

“Feeling better?” a deeper voice mumbled.

I nodded, turning to meet the warm cinnamon gaze of my all around best friend, Chad. “How much did you see?” His hand fell and he remained quiet, telling me all I needed to know. “All of it?” I let out a long whistle. “Didn’t even hear you come out here.” I smiled at him. “Impressive.”

He shrugged, acting like his usual modest self, to which I elbowed him playfully for.

“The bell is ringing soon,” he told me, nodding his head in the direction of the school.

“Alrighty then, let’s get going,” I drawled with a smile, about to motion for Gin and Shuu to follow when I caught the pair sucking face from the corner of my eye, making me cringe in my distaste for PDA. “Your god, Jesus, get a room, for the love of all that’s gay and sacred,” I shouted in a teasing manner, the remark making Shuu freeze up, always the bashful one despite the 69 tattoo on his left cheek, and Gin smile something fierce at the reaction.

“I officially hate you for the next three hours,” Shuuhei directed at me as he stood, offering a hand to his silver haired companion.

_ *** _

“I’m home!” I hollered, opening the door, but there was no excited response other than Shiro, my cat, scampering up to me and rubbing up against my legs, a loud purr coming from him. “Hungry, cat?” I asked, bending down to pick him up, his soft white fur getting on my uniform, but I couldn’t bring myself to care as he rubbed his head against my cheek lovingly. “Yeah, at least I have you.”

As sad of an existence I must have for a cat to be my only lasting companion, there isn’t much I can say on the matter. Beggars can’t be choosers after all, and as much as I hate begging, I do it often. Not to get friends, mind you, as I’m not that pathetic. However, I did have to beg for a job that worked with my school schedule, an apartment that was cheap enough for my salary, my cat so I wouldn’t be lonely when I came to Tokyo for University, help with my studies when I need it…

_ You’ve made your point. _

I set the ball of fluff on the ground and watched as he scampered away toward the small kitchen, jumping onto the counter when the opportunity arose. His yellow eyes followed me expectantly, knowing that if he stared long enough he would convince me to move faster without saying a word. Or, I imagine he liked to think that.

“Yeah, you cat from hell, I’ll feed you.”

I made my way towards the leech, wondering, just when did my life become so quiet? Was it when she died? When he left us? When they were taken away…? I can’t remember, and I really don’t want to.

As per usual, a bowl of dry food and a dish of cream was set out in front of the glutton. He pressed his head into my hand and purred with gratitude.

I found myself wandering off to the couch, eyes heavy and feeling dead to the world, but the rest is a blur.

_ *** _

Waking up to a stranger asleep under my coffee table was not how I had planned on spending my morning.

I must not have been in my right mind, because I simply groaned and hoped he wasn’t annoying.

“Hey,” I called, nudging his sleeping form with my toe. “Wake up, I gotta go and you gotta get outta here, buddy.”

A grunt was the only response I got, so I tried again: “Hey, Lazy Ass, get up.”

“Fuckin… Lemme sleep, Nnoi… Nell and drinks… hangover…”

_ For the love of gay, he’s drunk? _

“I think you got the wrong apartment, pal,” I muttered.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you want a continuation of any of these!  
> -Chris


End file.
